Posted by eporter on June 16, 2026
What New Mentors Wish They Knew Before Their First Match Meeting
Becoming a mentor is both exciting and a little intimidating. After completing the application process and being matched with a mentee, mentors may begin to doubt their abilities to mentor or begin wondering what their first meeting will be like. Will the mentee want to talk? What if they don’t know what to say? How do they build a connection with someone they’ve just met?
These questions are common, and many experienced mentors say there are a few things they wish they had known before that first meeting to calm their nerves and help things go smoothly. Preparing mentors with the realities of first match meetings ahead of time can help them feel more confident and prepared as they begin their mentoring journey.
You Don’t Need to Have All the Answers
Some new mentors worry that they need to be an expert, a counselor, or a master problem-solver for their mentee. However, mentoring is not about having all the answers. Instead, effective mentors focus on listening, encouraging, and building a supportive relationship.
Young people are often looking for someone who will take an interest in them, listen to their experiences, and provide consistent support rather than bombard them with advice.
Building Trust Takes Time
Some mentors expect an immediate connection with their mentee, but strong mentoring relationships are usually built gradually. Many mentees may be shy, hesitant, or unsure about what mentoring will be like during the first meeting. They may need time to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and experiences.
Rather than focusing on creating an instant bond, mentors should focus on being patient, reliable, and consistent. Trust is built over time through repeated positive interactions. When mentors understand this, they are less likely to get discouraged if their match does not immediately “click.”
It’s Okay If the Conversation Feels Awkward
One of the biggest fears mentors have before their first meeting is running out of things to say. Like the beginning of many relationships, the first conversations can feel a little awkward.
Mentors should be reminded that it can take time to learn about each other’s interests, personalities, and communication styles. Asking open-ended questions, showing curiosity, and focusing on the mentee’s interests can help conversations flow more naturally. In addition, the information learned during the first meeting can be used to start new conversations or plan match activities in the future. The goal of the first meeting is not to have a perfect conversation but simply to begin getting to know one another and start building a safe space to share thoughts and feelings.
Small Interactions Can Have a Big Impact
New mentors sometimes underestimate the difference they can make. They may enter their first mentoring relationship with doubts about their abilities to mentor.
While many mentors hope to help their mentee achieve major goals, research suggests that positive mentoring relationships are often built through small, everyday interactions. Consistent encouragement, active listening, and genuine interest can help young people feel supported and valued. Over time, these interactions can help mentees achieve more of their daily goals and take baby steps to achieve their long-term goals.
Preparing Mentors for Success
While enthusiasm is important, preparation for a new mentoring relationship matters too. Mentoring Central’s Building the Foundation pre-match training helps mentors develop the knowledge and skills they need before their first meeting with a mentee. The course covers topics such as mentor roles and responsibilities, expectations for the mentoring relationship, establishing boundaries, and strategies for initiating positive relationships. This web-based course includes concrete advice for mentors’ first meeting with their mentee.
By helping mentors understand what to expect before they begin their mentoring relationship, training can reduce uncertainty, increase confidence, and support stronger mentoring relationships from the start.
Ready to prepare your mentors for success?
Explore Mentoring Central’s Building the Foundation training and help new mentors start their journey with confidence: https://mentoringcentral.net/mentoring-training/building-the-foundation-mentor/