Posted by eporter on May 28, 2024
School’s Out! Tips for Promoting Mentoring Relationship Closeness Over the Summer
The end of the academic year is quickly approaching, which means many matches, particularly those involved in school-based mentoring programs, must consider the future of their mentoring relationships. Matches that regularly meet in a school setting or plan match meetings according to the mentee’s school schedule must determine how their mentoring relationship should proceed once schools have closed.
Some mentors and mentees choose to stop meeting or communicating to one another at the end of the school, officially closing their match. We outlined tips in a recent blog to help program staff and mentors close their mentoring relationships in healthy, impactful ways. However, some matches choose instead to redefine their mentoring relationships when summer approaches. For example, some matches may decide that they would like to continue their mentoring relationship over the summer by meeting in an alternative location than the school building, meeting virtually, meeting at different days of the week or times of day, or meeting at different frequencies. Alternatively, a match may choose to stop meeting or communicating over the summer months, but plan to rejuvenate and redefine their relationship in the late summer, at the beginning of the following academic school year.
It is important for matches to meet together with their mentoring program’s staff and the mentee’s parents or guardians before the end of the school year, so that all parties can discuss the match’s plans for closure or redefinition. Both mentors and mentees should be present, so they can each express their desires and concerns about match redefinition and set realistic expectations for their relationship over the summer. Realistic expectations and healthy communication can help minimize match disappointment and premature match endings. Mentoring program staff should be present at their matches’ closure or redefinition meetings, because they may be knowledgeable about all of the matches’ options and provide tips regarding redefinition. It is also important for each mentee’s parent(s) or guardian(s) to be present, so they can discuss topics such as safety concerns, scheduling, transportation, and communication in preparation for the summer transition.
Once a match has determined how to redefine their mentoring relationship over the summer, they may need to adjust to a new meeting schedule, a new method of communication, or not meeting at all. Below, we have provided tips to help matches and staff navigate changing mentoring relationships over the summer, so each match can thrive.
For matches continuing to meet in person:
If a match decides to continue meeting in person after the school year ends, they may need to change the typical location of their match meetings, such as moving to meeting in a community-based setting rather than a school setting. This change may make it more difficult for mentors and mentees to determine what kinds of activities to do together in their new meeting location. In this case, mentors can consult Building Assets Together (BAT): A Guide for Youth Mentors for ideas and strategies. The BAT Guide provides dozens of fun activities ideas that support the goals of mentees and align with mentees’ interests that can be done in a wide variety of locations.
A match may also decide to meet in person more or less frequently than they did during the school year. Though a change in schedule may make it difficult to remember the dates and times of match meetings, it important for mentors to avoid missing meetings. If a mentor is late or does not show up to a match meeting, the mentee may feel abandoned or wonder if their mentor values their time together, which can hinder the progress of the relationship and negatively impact mentee outcomes. To avoid missing match meetings, mentors and mentees can write the dates and times of their summer meetings in their calendar ahead of time or set calendar reminders on their phone.
If matches change the location or frequency of their meetings, mentees’ parents/guardians may need to be more involved in the planning of match meetings over the summer than they were during the school year. Before the school year ends, mentors and parents/guardians of mentees should determine an effective way of communicating with one another over the summer, such as by exchanging phone numbers or email addresses, so they can discuss transportation, scheduling, or other topics related to match meetings. Mentoring program staff can offer the Building the Foundation for Parents web-based training to parents/guardians of mentees to help them understand their roles in their child’s mentoring relationship and ways to support their child’s mentoring experience.
For matches who want to stay in contact without meeting in person:
Even if a match is unable to continue meeting in person over the summer, they may be able to stay in contact through other means of communication. For example, matches can schedule virtual match meetings through video calls (e.g., FaceTime), web conferencing software meetings (e.g., Zoom, Google Meet), or phone calls. Building the Foundation for e-Mentoring is a helpful web-based training program for mentors that provides tips for matches meeting virtually for the first time and helps mentors set realistic expectations for meeting in a virtual setting with their mentee.
Matches can also become “pen pals” and communicate through email or postal mail over the summer to maintain their relationship without scheduled match meetings. For example, mentors and mentees can send one another postcards, if they are traveling or take a vacation over the summer.
For matches who plan to take a break over the summer:
If a match chooses to stop meeting and communicating over the summer, with plans to continue match meetings at the beginning of the following school year, there are still ways that mentors and program staff can use time during the summer to promote impactful mentoring relationships. Program staff can offer web-based training for their mentors to complete between school years, so they can prepare to successfully rejuvenate their mentoring relationship the following year.
After being apart for several weeks, matches may feel nervous when meeting again at the beginning of the following school year. It is important to prepare mentors with skills to foster relationship closeness when the school year starts again. Building and Maintaining the Relationship is a web-based training course that mentors can take to learn skills to build trust and deepen their mentoring relationship. By taking the course at their own pace over the summer, mentors can rejuvenate their mentoring relationship at the beginning of the following school year equipped with actionable strategies to strengthen their relationship with their mentee, even after time apart.
To learn more about Mentoring Central’s research-based training courses for mentors, mentees, mentoring program staff, and parents/guardian of mentees, visit https://mentoringcentral.net/mentoring-training/.