Posted by eporter on August 18, 2026
What Mentees Wish They Knew Before Beginning Their Mentoring Relationship
Starting a mentoring relationship can be exciting, but it can also feel uncertain for young people. Many mentees enter a mentoring program not knowing what mentoring is, what they will do with their mentor, or what is expected of them.
They may wonder:
These questions are completely normal. Just as mentors benefit from training before they meet their mentee, young people can also benefit from learning what to expect before their mentoring relationship begins.
Mentoring Is a Partnership
Some mentees believe a mentor is simply another teacher, coach, or authority figure who tells them what to do. In reality, mentoring is a partnership built on trust, communication, and mutual respect. Mentors are there to listen, encourage, and help mentees discover their strengths, not to solve every problem or make decisions for them. Understanding what mentoring is, and what it is not, helps mentees begin the relationship with realistic expectations.
Nerves Before the First Meeting
Meeting someone new can feel intimidating. Many mentees worry they will not know what to say or whether they will have anything in common with their mentor. Mentors often feel the very same way.
The first meeting is not about creating the perfect connection. It is simply the beginning of getting to know one another. Asking questions, sharing interests, and being open to conversation are all great ways to start building a positive relationship.
Every Voice Matters
Sometimes young people assume mentoring is something that happens to them. Instead, mentees play an important role in shaping the relationship. When mentees share their interests, ask questions, talk about their goals, and communicate honestly with their mentor, they help create a relationship that is meaningful for both people. Mentoring works best when both the mentor and mentee actively participate.
Setting Expectations
Every mentee hopes to gain something from mentoring. Some want help with school. Others hope to build confidence, make better decisions, explore careers, or simply have a trusted adult to talk with. Thinking about these hopes before meeting a mentor can help mentees communicate what they want from the relationship and make the mentoring experience more rewarding.
Importantly, mentees should learn how to set realistic expectations before entering into a mentoring relationship. They may not meet their goals as quickly as they hoped. There may be some awkward silences during the first meeting, or they may not connect with their mentor immediately. Understanding that these experiences are normal can keep a mentee motivated to participate in the relationship, even when things do not go exactly as expected.
Healthy Relationships Include Boundaries
Mentees also benefit from understanding that mentoring relationships include appropriate boundaries designed to keep everyone safe and comfortable. Knowing what kinds of behaviors are appropriate, who to talk to with questions or concerns, and how mentors and mentees should communicate helps build trust and creates a positive mentoring experience from the very beginning.
Preparing Mentees for Success
Preparing mentees before they meet their mentor can increase their confidence, strengthen motivation, and help prevent misunderstandings that may arise early in the relationship. Mentoring Central’s Building the Foundation for Mentees instructor-led workshop is designed specifically for youth who are new to mentoring. Through six interactive topics, mentees learn:
The workshop includes engaging activities, real-world scenarios, mentee testimonial videos, self-reflection exercises, and role-play opportunities that help young people feel prepared and excited to begin their mentoring journey.
Setting the Stage for a Strong Relationship
When mentees understand what mentoring is, what their role is, and how they can contribute to a positive relationship, they are more likely to engage with confidence and build a strong connection with their mentor. Helping mentees prepare is an investment in stronger mentoring relationships and better youth outcomes.
Ready to help your mentees start strong? It doesn’t have to take a long time to cover these six topics, and using Mentoring Central’s Building the Foundation for Mentees instructional materials can help you to lead a 45-minute workshop that can help prepare your youth participants for successful, lasting mentoring relationships: https://mentoringcentral.net/mentoring-training/building_the_foundation_mentees/.